


hate what we lost but we'll love what we found

by lalazee



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: 104th Training Corps - Freeform, Canon Compliant, Drama, Hand Jobs, Introspection, Jealousy, M/M, Manga Spoilers, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-18
Updated: 2017-11-18
Packaged: 2019-02-04 01:23:39
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12760245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lalazee/pseuds/lalazee
Summary: His cheekbones were sharper, his eyes still the color of the sea – Levi had finally found a color which to compare them. But shadows and depths grew anew, too, constantly sinking deeper.Manhood had loomed over and infringed upon Eren’s young heart, and although there was something about that knowledge Levi mourned in a distant corner of his thoughts, the fact was, this man – he belonged to Levi.Right?





	hate what we lost but we'll love what we found

**Author's Note:**

  * For [mrhd](https://archiveofourown.org/users/mrhd/gifts).



Laughter. Levi always seemed to follow it.

Unintentional or not, throughout his years in the Corps, he had come to find himself enveloped with those who brought cheer and tenacity and goodness to their group. Regardless of whether they lived or not – and they never did – their joy still echoed in the hollow chambers of his heart, reminding him that, through all things, people could still find their piece of happiness in this merciless world.

Levi hadn’t particularly prescribed to all that bullshit.

Now, staring across the fire with hooded eyes, Levi was coming to find that his own piece of happiness had finally hunted him down and dug its hooks in. He didn’t know if he liked it one fucking bit. Not when it made him feel like _this_.

Opposite the crackling flames, Eren sat cross-legged and illuminated in the shifting glow. Ash and spark floated between them like spirits rising up to the starless night, and Eren’s smile was the only bright crescent moon this evening.

Wrapped in a thin, military-grade blanket of scratchy grey wool that did little to ward off the autumn chill, his voice radiated with warmth and comfort.

The cold did not touch him. Levi supposed his own frigid countenance carried little effect on Eren in much the same way.

Mikasa laid with her head on Eren's lap, soaking up his heat. Jean’s temple rested upon Eren's shoulder, a sharp, wide grin and a snarky comment on his tongue despite their intimate position. Armin leaned against Eren's back, keeping watch into the deep, uncertain forest - the two of them held each other up as always. Connie's arm slung over the sturdy ridge of Eren’s back as he talked over Eren's story.

Everyone had noticed years ago how unnaturally hot he was.

Well, in temperature.

This was no longer an unusual sight. When you'd die for someone, essentially snuggling for warmth with the friends you grew up with was par for the course. Levi had seen it dozens upon dozens of times.

But now - shit. Things were different, weren't they?

Levi’s gaze trailed the cut line of Eren’s jaw, one which has been softer, smoother in years past.  He’d grown taller, though not much broader. All lithe, lean muscle and endless leg. His cheekbones were sharper, his eyes still the color of the sea – Levi had finally found a color which to compare them. But shadows and depths grew anew, too, constantly sinking deeper.

Manhood had loomed over and infringed upon Eren’s young heart, and although there was something about that knowledge Levi mourned in a distant corner of his thoughts, the fact was, this man – he belonged to Levi.

Right?

Staring long and hard, unconscious of the fickle spill of time when the moon and stars were hidden like this, Levi watched Eren become the lighthouse in the sky for these people. A man who controlled the tides.

Who the hell was Levi to think Eren _belonged_ to him? If anything, Levi was just another man starved and lost at sea, struggling and drowning towards Eren’s immeasurable light. Making this journey with Eren, depending on him in terms of the future of all humanity – knowing that, within the year, he’d be shipped off across the ocean to fuck knew where in order to infiltrate enemy lines – was as humbling as looking in the face of death.

And Levi had stared into death from birth. He knew no one was above the reaper and his scythe. Not himself, and certainly not Eren.

Shivering from the icy, bone fingers of fate tracing epitaphs on the back of his neck and not from the cold, Levi got to his feet and snapped his fingers in quick succession, effectively halting the conversation. Expectant faces looked to him from around the fire.

“Sleep. We move at sunrise.”

Levi didn’t wait for affirmation. They’d listen. He turned and slipped between the tall, tightly knit tree trunks, looking for sight of the shore. They travelled the ocean line, toward the hidden inlet where those boats – no, ships, they called them – docked. It was a journey, but necessary in order for them to take out every last intruder upon their lands.

Bursting from the forest to face the pale, sandy strip, sloping to the black, ethereal drape of the sea was like breathing for the first time. Levi felt claustrophobic in his own skin tonight. Was it the starless night, making him feel like the dark hands of inevitability were closing around his throat? Or was it watching Eren smile despite it all, surrounded by loved ones, and knowing Levi couldn’t keep him there?

Boots tracked through sand until the toes met unfamiliar waters. The wind whipped at his face in a fury. Levi tucked his fingers into loose fists, a futile attempt to warm his freezing hands.

He recognized the steps that neared behind him before they even emerged from the tree line.

“Hey,” Eren said, his voice almost lost to the sound of the sea.

Levi didn’t reply, and his fingers only clenching tighter, his nails cutting half moons into his palms as Eren approached his back, spread open his blanket and wrapped them both in it. Strong, lean arms embraced him, pulled him against the warm glow of Eren’s chest, as Eren bundled him in close and laid his cheek upon Levi’s head.

“The fuck you think you’re doing?” Levi said lowly, thought he didn’t move. “I’m not a headrest.”

“No,” Eren said, burying his nose in the crown of Levi’s hair. Levi could feel the smile. “But you’re comfy.”

“What a shitty liar.”

“I’m more comfortable with you than anyone in this world,” Eren said, and although Levi bristled with that level of unfamiliar tenderness like a shirt with a tight, starched collar, he knew Eren wasn’t the type to lie.

“Didn’t seem like it a second ago,” Levi said, exhaustion shoving unnecessary words off of his tongue.

Eren’s chuckle echoed through his chest, a humor Levi could feel against his own relaxing frame. He allowed Eren's arms to tighten with firm tenderness, wrapping him up with strength and some bizarre, unheard of level of empathy that Eren seemed to possess.

“You’re welcome to sit on my lap anytime,” Eren said, dipping his head to smile against the pale shell of Levi’s ear, his lips curving along the cartilage.

“In your wet dreams, brat,” Levi said, and, despite the wind whipping at his face, felt a glow from within, like Eren had lent him a sliver of the moon to light him through the night.

A gentle hum caressed across Levi’s ear, a sound that stirred him low in the gut, a noise Eren made when he’d been riled, when his mind was swirling with deviancy and delicious ideas.

“You’re not wrong,” Eren said, then, voice depthless as the night as he pressed his soft, dry mouth to Levi’s ear. When Eren next spoke, the delicate friction of his lips sent lazy waves of pleasure through Levi’s limbs. “You’re always in my dreams. Dirty, messy, impossible dreams where we’re finally alone and I can make you cum loud for me. When I can finally hear you let go. And yeah –“

One of Eren’s hands held the blanket shut around them while the other went exploring, traveling down the hard length of his stomach to outright knead his palm over Levi’s half-hard cock.  
  
“Yeah, I think about you on my lap.”

Levi clenched his teeth against the shiver that skated down his spine.

“Well aren’t _you_ hopeful,” Levi said, the single crack in his voice betraying him.

“You love that about me,” Eren murmured, still at Levi’s ear.

His hand cupped Levi’s cock, fingertips sneaking between his thighs to skim and trail over his sensitive, tightening balls. Slivers of shocks lanced through Levi’s core, starting a fire from fingers alone. Levi’s knees trembled. He released a shaky breath. Eren’s free arm embraced him more firmly, still held the two corners of the blankets together, encompassing the shared, growing warmth of their bodies.

“I’m –“ Levi swallowed and tilted his head as Eren began to kiss at the column of his throat, his tongue sneaking beneath his cravat, teeth scraping gently at the sensitive spot behind his ear. “I’m not fucking on this forsaken beach, kid. Sand and sex sound like a nightmare waiting to happen.”

“No sex,” Eren said, his full lips curved against Levi’s neck. His hand drifted to Levi’s waistband and began to work open the button fly. Talented little shit, using just three fingers to pop each one down the line. “Just let me touch you.”

Levi sucked in a short breath through his nose, eyes falling shut as Eren’s hand delved in, hot hold curling loosely around Levi’s cock. Shit, Eren knew how to touch him. A fast learner in everything.

And something about him always felt safe. Even if Levi was their group’s protector, their trusted leader – Eren was something else all together. Personally. Off the field.

“Stop thinking, Levi,” Eren crooned against his neck, nipping just a little too hard. “Lean on me.”

_Lean on me._

Never in three lifetimes would Levi have imagined he’d acquiesce to such a request, a command.

Then again, maybe Eren had been with him in all of those lifetimes and this was just par for the course.

Not that Levi put stock in any of that crap.

“C’mon, Levi,” Eren said again, his voice gritty as he slowly worked Levi’s dick with patience and a firm touch. Lazy, languid heat swirled and lapped low in Levi’s gut, loosening the set of his shoulders, the curl of his fists, the buckle in his knees. “ _Mmm_ , there you are.”

“Brat,” Levi said, voice deep and slurred as he canted his chin, the back of his head landing against Eren’s sturdy shoulder.

“Gorgeous,” Eren said, dipping his head to kiss a damp line down Levi’s jaw. The pad of his thumb swirled over the crown of Levi’s cock, slicking and spreading the beaded cum that waited, needy and pathetic. “I’ll keep you warm.”

Levi bit back a groan, his eyes open to the starless sky of spilled ink. Eren’s thick hair tickled his nose, smelled like his musk, his sweat, dust and travel and the path they’d walked together.

Eren worked Levi's cock with patience, squeezing and loosening his hold as his palm climbed the slid down the length with no apparent rush. His hand grew slicker by the minute from the tensing hardness that coiled in Levi’s belly, ready to snap. The breath in Levi’s lungs grew thick, salty ocean water rising up his throat, leaving him gasping for breath as Eren snuck his hand low to cup his balls, roll them softly, thumb smoothing over the tightening, swelling skin.

“ _Fuck_ ,” Levi bit off, like an admittance he hated to make. “Eren. _Eren_ , I –“

“ _Shhh_ ,” Eren murmured, kissing the line of his throat, teeth grazing, threatening to bite but never daring. “Come on.”

“Wha-“

Without moving his hand from Levi’s pants, he tilted back carefully until his bottom landed on the soft slope of sand. His hold around Levi’s chest never ceased, the strong arm guiding him down until he sat on Eren’s lap, his legs spread and hooked over Eren’s hot, hard thighs.

“Lean on me,” Eren said again, his voice carrying beneath the crashing waves, a siren song that left no room for argument. Eren’s own dick was a long, stiff jut against the small of Levi’s back. “ _Mmm_ , like that.”

Eren’s hand worked over him in earnest now, speeding up, growing in urgency, and slicked up with the insistent leak of cum that betrayed Levi’s intense fucking _need_. Levi bucked into Eren’s touch, his cock straining, Levi’s hands fisted tight in the flesh of Eren’s forearm across his chest, nails digging in as he gasped for breath, face to the heavens.The waves roared like titans in his ears, or maybe that was just his heart.  
  
Eren’s voice was like a mantra, like a prayer that rose Levi higher and higher. 

“So good spread out for me like this. Want you this way every night. Day. Whenever you’d let me.”

“Eren,” Levi choked out, hips rocking forward as Eren’s hand flew over him, climbing, rushing him to the peak. “ _Eren_.”

The burning, molten coil snapped, spraying sparks through Levi’s body, lighting him up, searing him, branding. Levi cried out, but Eren’s mouth was there, Eren turning enough to smear his lips across Levi’s, to catch the stuttering moan and swallow it down, saving to use on him another time and another. Levi spilled over onto his hand, hips shuddering, jolting up into Eren’s palm, riding through the quivers that wracked his body.

Tension drained from his limbs, the well run dry of it, empty, Levi left without a thought lingering in his head but for Eren’s name on repeat. His lips parted to exhale and Eren licked that up, too.

Weakly, Levi shifted his head on Eren’s shoulder, looked up at him, those heavily lashed eyes now dark as the midnight sea.  

“This was just a plot to get me to sit on your lap, wasn’t it?” Levi said, voice husky and wrecked.

Eren’s grin was the moon again, a white crescent.

“Just a bonus.”

“What a shithead.”

“ _Mmm_ ,” Eren said, his lips already curved when they met Levi’s.  He spoke against Levi’s mouth, like Levi could keep everything he said, save it for later, for colder, lonelier nights than this. “Spoon with me tonight, Levi.”

Levi couldn’t help his own quick grin.

“Like hell.”

“No one will think anything of it. I’m warm.”

“You don’t say.”

“Come on,” Eren said, leaning his forehead against Levi’s temple. “I need you close. For when you’re not.”

Levi’s chest tightened, that ocean water stuck there, rising.

“Alright, brat.”

“Alright, Levi.”


End file.
